I have a hero. I call him Dad.

So I took May off as a sabbatical – and when I say sabbatical I mean my annual relentless slog of exam marking. But now I’m back and ready to celebrate my fabulous dad in honour of the approaching Fathers’ Day. As I have mentioned in earlier posts, my dad has always been a bit of a hero, not just for me but for a good number of my friends too so I thought I would write a Grateful Daughter’s Guide to the Fabulous Dad. Any dads, uncles or grandads of young girls reading this – take note, follow these rules and she will be writing tributes to you in years to come!

Number 1: My dad taught me the value of adventure. My internal memory blanket is bursting with big and small adventures woven into each other, all overlapping and messy but full of colour. He took us on endless walks with no destination (a real skill to get kids to do this!), he took us camping in the rain, he drove us across continents led by his own itinerary, he up sticks and moved us around the globe for four years and taught us how small and gorgeous the world is. He gave us the confidence to be adventurers ourselves which I will be eternally thankful for.

Number 2: My dad taught me the importance of taking an interest in everyone you meet and remembering what they tell you. I am still learning how to do this but my dad is a rock star at it. He can be in any room of people and he will be the one having the most interesting conversation as he will be taking a genuine interest in who they are and he will actually be listening to learn; not waiting for his turn to speak. The best bit is the remembering part – even now my dad will be talking about a friend he had back at school and he will suddenly break the story to say, “Yes I played rugby with him, he was really interested in bees – he would spend hours studying them.” If dad ever met that friend now, he would make him feel amazing to know someone had remembered that about him.

Number 3: My dad taught me that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing perfectly. This applies to staying up that extra hour until two in the morning to proofread your essay one final time and ensure it reads well to making sure every bauble is placed just right on the Christmas tree. It is a mind-set, a dedication to quality. DIY jobs were always an art in our house growing up; you don’t rush, you get your tools in line, you measure endlessly from every possible angle and you enjoy the task.

Number 4: My dad taught me that exercise is really important. He did this first by role -modelling; I can’t tell you the amount of people who have told how great my dad was at football, at rugby, at gymnastics. I remember hours spent pulling his damn golf bag around the course, hours spent on a football side-line and moments of awe as he back-flipped his way up our back garden when he thought no one was watching. He then spent hours driving me and brother to swimming practices and endless competitions. He still maintains that the best remedy to a bad day is a swim. And he is right.

Number 5: My dad taught me to take lots of photos and to write lots of things down. This is all part of valuing your family and your experiences – don’t do it to the exclusion of being in the moment but having those little forgotten moments recorded somewhere will mean so much one day.

Number 6: My dad taught me to notice what people do well and tell them. This is a great one and is all part of being curious rather than judgemental. He always told us that everyone does something well and it was important to notice that and let them know you spotted it. Admittedly this was hard when he was trying to get me to see the positives in the class bully who was making my life hell but it is a great life lesson in breaking down barriers and thinking the best. It is also easier than hating. He still does it today; when my two-year-old launched a ball across his garden and knocked pretty much all the petals off dad’s beloved roses, dad said “Wow, nice throw!” and meant it.

Number 7: My dad taught me to not follow the trends; to be my own decision maker. I admit I struggle with this but I love that it is there as a lodestar to call me back to what is important to me. I don’t remember us as a family ever doing anything because other people thought we ought to. In fact, together with mum, dad always made independent decisions for us and didn’t wait around to check the fallout. I really aspire to tune into what is important to my family regardless of what other families are up to.

Number 8: My dad taught me the importance of laughing at myself. I was a horribly sensitive child and would scream in fury when dad would tease me. I dread to think how serious I would be now if dad hadn’t lifted that seriousness occasionally and tickled me. Even now, if I have a bad experience at work and my instinct is to run off, cry in the loo and berate the world for being so cruel, I find it helpful to see the twinkle in dad’s eye and remember that I just need to get over myself sometimes.

Number 9: My dad taught me to put people before principles. It is all well and good having strongly-held morals and opinions in this life and my dad has as many as the next person. However, he has shown me time and again that you quietly put those principles on the shelf and walk towards a person in need if the situation calls for it. In this way, we let our experiences shape our principles rather than the other way around.

Number 10: My dad taught me that life is difficult but it is not bad. There will always be times that we cannot see through to the end of, when we hurt, hurt and hurt some more. But. Life is fundamentally good and we have an important role to play in keeping it that way. Roll with the punches and find the silver linings.

So, Daughter Daddys out there – what you are doing is making a huge difference! Daddy on!